About
"I look so fat in this dress."
The words stung when I heard my friend say them as she stared into the locker room mirror. She wasn't "fat" at all, but toned and fit--yet her self-criticism made me feel doubly self-conscious as I sat there, wondering why someone would say them about themselves. As the girl next to her squealed, "No you don't," I realized how sad it was to hear other tear themselves down in order to get others to build them up.
It dawned on me that my friend's words hurt because I was actually guilty of saying those same self-defeating things as I struggled with my own weight and self-image. It was time to change. So, to address my physical concerns, I began a daily exercise and nutrition plan but getting my body in better shape was the easy part. To make my mind as healthy as my body, I had to teach myself how to drop something even more important--the self-critical talk. When I kept my personal narrative positive, I was able to keep going and reach my fitness goals along with seeing a positive impact on my grades, relationships, and other activities.
The fact is, research shows that 93% of young women use "fat talk," or negative references to their own body, to gain external approval even when what they are saying is not accurate. The concept of "fat talk" applies to much more than just your body--maybe you are feeling down on your abilities, your grades, your clothes--but one look at advertising and social media shows the pressure on young people about appearance. There are countless super-curated posts of people posing and presenting themselves to look "perfect," setting up cognitive distortion and self-doubt. Negative self-talk is contagious and harmful--50% more women will engage in it if others around them are doing so, spreading a cycle of negativity and shame. Negative self-image is a proven clinical risk predictor for eating disorders, depression, shortened life span, and anxiety.
"Self-ValYOU: Promoting Positive Personal Imagery" is the program I developed during my journey of fitness and attitude adjustment. My mission is to teach people of all ages, but especially young men and women, how to positively charge their self-image to avoid the potential harmful health effects of negative self-talk. I use colorful traffic graphics as a visual reminder of how to do just that. I also talk about the role of social media and its effect on self-image in today's online world. One of my favorite authors, Joel Osteen, says that "you can change your world by changing your words." I have adopted this as my philosophy--I'm living proof of the power of positive self-talk, and I'm always a work in progress. Check out the tools of Self-ValYOU on our "About The Program" page!
